Rambo's Chihuahua Blog

Thursday, July 31, 2008

My Health Report.

Yesterday was not a fun day for me. As you know, G-Mom had to take me to the doggie doc because I was upchucking some yucky yellow foamy stuff. Turns out, its called bile. Sounds disgusting.....bile. So, the doc asked me alot of questions; "Do you have diarrhea?" "No" I said, "but I've got a big turd that's on its way out, wanna see?". (fart, fart) "How's your appetite?" he said. "Good" I said, "I could eat a horse" (just joking doc) "Are you still active?" he wanted to know. "Well" I said, "I am still a virgin if that's what you mean! YES I am physically active" I yelled. I guess he didn't like my smart remarks cause the second I turned my head he stuck something up my behind! "OOOOWWWEEEEE Doc!" "Ooops, I farted" I said. "Looks good" he said, "but he's got alot of gas. So my hiney looks good and I have alot of gas. So what. Then, I was taken from the exam room and forced to undergo some weird things. First, they took a picture of my body and not my face. I thought that was a bit strange! Then, they covered my eyes. "Hey, I wanna see what you're gonna do to me!" I said. As I sat in the dark, I heard someone say "Can you do it?". Do what, I thought, and a pain shot right down the side of my neck. I twisted my head so I could see what was up and I saw a 2 foot syringe filled with my doggy blood . Okay, these humans are really weird. First they take a picture of my body, and now they want my blood. Maybe they are vampires. I started to hyperventilate and before I had a chance to run, the human tightened her grip on me and forced another 2 foot syringe with a 5 foot needle filled with some clear fluid into my backside. OHD, I thought I would pass out. I was sent back to the exam room to recover, and then as soon as I got home I let out a giant nervous turd.
The doggie doc called this morning to tell me that I have low thryoid level, but nothing to be concerned about. I also have an enlarged kidney, due to dehydration. (I really don't like water, it's boring). The doc said I have gastritis, so I have to take something called Cerenia for four days and eat chicken and rice and drink lots and lots of water. I love chicken, but I hope that medicine tastes good or I will spit it out! We still haven't heard about G-Mom's CAT scan. We're waiting on the human doc. She said she's sorry she hasn't help me play the tagging game yet. She promises to do it tomorrow.


Lorenza said...

Hi, Rambo!
You had a very scary day at the Vets!
Good thing after all that torture you are ok!
I have a bad thyroid too! I take a pill and I am doing fine!
Chicken and rice! Sounds yummy!
Take water. You need it!
Kisses and hugs

Chef said...

Oh no Ram -- you went to the bloodsucker's office. Well, I'm glad it was nothing too serious. Chicken and rice pretty small price to pay to get rid of those yucky bilspits. Feel better!!


happy said...

Oh poor you, Rambo. That wasn't very pleasant. Hope you are feeling better now. Hope your mom's CAT scan turns out good too.

Have a good weekend.

JB's Big World said...

Rambo, you crack me up! That is a very detailed account of your vet visit. I hate getting anything stuck up my butt. I am glad you are ok. I think you should have asked the doc if you could have my personal favorite, lightly seasoned fresh grilled salmon.
Hope G-mom's results will be as good.

Sharon said...

That's great that you got good news. And if the vet was treating you like that with 5 foot needles and stuff, it serves him right that you farted on him!

Best of luck to G-mom.

S and Dobby

t3h_5quirr3l said...

Hee Hee. What a funny post.
Glad you're okay, and again good luck to your mommy.

Charlie Daniels said...

Needle! Did you say 5 foot needle!

Pedro said...

Oh man Rambo, I'm sorry you were sick too! It sounds alot like what Libby had. Didn't Jack & Patrick have a stomach virus too? It must be going around the country. I hope you're feeling better!

Cousin Pedro

Katie and Gizmo said...

Oh poor Rambo that sounds just awful.

My new mummy took me to the vet 2wks after she found me and they put me to sleep and when I woke up my male parts were gone!
I was in so much pain for 2 days and it sucks not being a full man but I still love my mummy.
I blame that mean man in the white coat for it.
I hope I never have to see him again.

Anyway get well soon my new friend

Patrick and Jackson said...

Hopefully you are feeling better! We both had this not too long ago. It cleared up fairly fast after we started the medicine and bland diet!

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