Rambo's Chihuahua Blog

Monday, March 30, 2009

I Kissed a Lizard and I Liked It!

Hi Everyone! It's me, Midget Molly. Yesterday I had the most exciting day and I just have to tell you all about it. Well......... me and Rambo went outside to hunt for buggies. (they are really called lizards, but we call them buggies) That's me...hunting in the planters. Still hunting! Then guess what happened next?? The old lady's camera went DEAD! And just when I was about to catch my first buggie. When she ran in to get new batteries, I caught that slimy little buggie and was carrying it around in my mouth (I was so proud of myself) and then old lady came outside and started to scream. She yelled at me "Put that buggie down Midget." So, I had to put the buggie down and I didn't even get to play with it. Ut Oh! I think I killed the buggie. G-Mom was sad.

Num Yummy!!That buggie was faking. He turned over and ran away! No kidding.

G-Mom got happy again. And the humans laughed at me when I chased the lazer beam. It perfected my hunting skills! Next time I'm going for a bird! Midget peee esss. I didn't get to play with the buggie, but I kissed it and I liked it!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Playful Thursday

Here's my silly sister, playing with her birthday present. The humans really got a kick out it. He he. My Mom said that really smart dogs don't follow the lazer beam. Hmmm.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Let's Talk Politics

My G-Mom is outraged. She said that some big wigs stole her money. I have no idea what a big wig is, but if I ever see one I will be sure to give it a big fat bite on it's big fat wallet.
Pardon me, but G-Mom just gave me this picture. She said that this is what a big wig looks like. So what do you dogs think about this big wig? What do you think of schmuks that take 170 billion dollars from good people (like my G-Mom) and then give out 165 million of that 170 billion to other greedy muckety-mucks?? G-Mom says the economy is in the toilet and we're all taking a bit ole bite of poop pie. Qué un ramo de mierda!!! Che il pugno di merda. And in plain old dogg......WHAT A BUNCH OF SHIT! BLEEP. SHITZACACAPOOPOO.

Pee esss. I was nominated for Post of the Month at DWB bone zone. Please vote for me!! Your bestest chihuahua friend, Rambo

Peee peee esss esss. I have been a bad dog. A while back my nuova amica (that means "new friend" in Italian) Lucia gave me the Honest Scrap Award and I forgot to thank her. So, I am saying "grazie" to my nuova amica and mi dispiace (sorry) for taking so long.

Bel Cane- Lucia

The Award.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Monday Morning Headlines

Guess who's been hangin around again?? Wiley Coyote. He was here again this morning eating Goliath's food. Me and Midget were not allowed outside until we got the "all clear" from G-Mom. She is afraid that Wiley will try to eat us. Who ever said that coyotes are smart? This Wiley Coyote is dumb.
He could catch a rabbit.
Or a lizard.....
Or this nasty, dirty squirrel that eats all the bird food. But NO....he likes to eat dog food. (click to biggify)
How about some peanuts Mr. Squirrel?? If that dumb coyote won't catch you, then I will.
Now, what shall I do with you??
A. Feed you to Wiley Coyote?
B. Bite you on the lip where you once bit me......you dirty rotten nasty squirrel?
C. Give you some arsenic sunflower seeds.....that look ike the one's you steal from the birds?
D. Let you go?
E. Knock you over the head with a shovel and tell G-Mom that G-Pop did it?
F. How about some salted peanuts that will increase your heart rate and give you a heart attack?
G. Send you to Rusty and the Squirrel Patrol?
Hmmmm. What should I do?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

WordFULL Wednesday

Hi Everyone! I know this blog is supposed to be ALL about little ole me, the tuff little chi, but today I want to share a little story about the old lady, my G! (I told you I was a poet) Anyway, I am very proud of her. Wanna know why?

The story begins in 2005, when I was a little pupster, only 3 months old. I was too young to know what was happening and have since then learned what it was.

One afternoon in late September 2005, G-Mom and my Mom were driving from the mall. My Mom received a cell phone call from one of her friends. (it sounds confusing, but for those of you who don't know, G-Mom is my Nona and my Mom is my mom and we all live in the same dog house. G-Mom is my personal assistant and tends to my blog) Anyway, back to the phone call. My Mom gets this call from one of her friends, and her friend is hysterical and crying. Her friend had just found out that her sister was being molested by their step-father. She confesses to my Mom that she has been molested too. Now, G-Mom with her wolf size ears and being the big snoop that she is, overhears this conversation and asks WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

Lo and behold, these two young girls claim to have been sexually abused by their stepfather over the past four years!

So......G-Mom with the big mouth that she has.....(you know she likes to talk, which sometimes gets her into trouble)......runs over to the neighbors house and reports her suspicions to her friend, who happens to be a Deputy Sheriff for the county. Sneaky old lady! And she thought she was done with that. Well, fifteen minutes later two police officers appear at our house. I was shaking in my boots, cause I thought they were gonna arrrest G or take me back to the streets of Chino. They asked her some questions and off they went.

Fast forward. In 2008, G-Mom and my Mom testified for the prosecution in the case, Jane Doe #1 and Jane Doe #2 versus Mr. Child Molester. Two months later: HUNG JURY! Everyone, including my G, was so upset. The defense attorney convinced some stupid human on the jury that the Doe's were lying. What a human fool. However, Mr. Child Molester could be re-tried.

In January of this year, G-Mom and my Mom re-testified for the prosecution in the case of Jane Doe #1 and Jane Doe #2 versus Mr. Child Molester. Two months later: GUILTY!!

Everyone was so happy, certainly my G! For once in her life, G-Mom's big mouth didn't her into trouble, it got someone out. Mr. Child Molester, aka Situation Child Molester was found guilty of Continuous Sexually Molestation of a child under the age of fourteen. That's one sick human being.

We love our G, big ears, eyes, mouth and all!

Pee ess Check this out! Cousin

Pedro's brother Ziggy has his own blog! Please go and say hi to Zig and welcome him to our silly little world!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Silent (Sneaky) Sunday

This is Wiley Coyote eating out of my neighbor Goliath's food bowl. This is Goliath. Duh....Goliath??
Peee ess.....click on the photo and you can get a better look.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Midget Molly's 1st Birthday!!

Psssst. Don't tell Rambo, but I am taking over his blog again. He gets real mad when I try and take over his "things", so please don't mention you heard this from me. Well.........Rambo forgot to tell you something, the bonehead. I think he just wants all the attention. Anyhoo, Tuesday was my FIRST birthday! Yes...I am ONE year old already! Here's a picture of me and my birthday hat. Aren't I a perty girl?? (and no, I have not been drinking the silly water. I always look like that.....my eyes are sensitive to bright light)
Rambo fell asleep at my pawty. Way to go you party animal!
Look at him now! He just noticed the cake? Duh?
It's MY birthday Rambo. Don't even think about who gets the first piece.
Ha Ha. I got the first taste.
Here's some for you.
Oooops!! He can't tell his nose from his mouth. Silly brother. (you better stop drinking that silly water)
Neither can my Mom. Silly human!
I got to cut my first birthday cake.
Pee..esss. Did you notice I had my nails done?? (The dumb manicurist forgot my thumb. Oh! Sorry G-Mom!!)
I got some pressies. A perty dress.
A lazer thingy. I have no idea what this is, but G-Mom said it is fun. We will play with it tomorrow. Rollhide.
Beggin Strips.
I love Purina rollhide. I'm in heaven.
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!