Monday, March 31, 2008
The noisy animals are back. They were here before, they left, and now they are on the hill behind my dawg house once again. They are very noisy animals....they say BAAAAA all day long. I wonder what they are doing all day down there on the hill? The dawgs in the hood bark all day too. Oh my nerves! All this BAAAing and all this BARKing. What's a dawg to do?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sam the Ham, I'm gonna get you...you mean, stinky, butt sniffing, bone stealing, house wrecker BIG HAM. You like to play with me and then you turn around and stab me in the back. What kind of dawg are you??? I thought you were my bro....Sam the Ham? SO THIS IS WHAT U GET FOR BEING SUCH A BIG HAM!!!! I bet my cousin Pedro wouldn't do that to me.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
How do you like my new shirt? It's really cool because it has "dare devil" on it and you know I am the dare devil chi. I am so tuff that I tried to jump over the block wall and get Sara, the crazy german shephard next door. I couldn't reach her but one of these days I will and she will be sorry. She barks and bark and barks all day and night and I want to bite her so she will SHUT UP!!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Here's a picture of Pedro. Doesn't he look just like me!! He must be my cousin, he must. My first cousin. I wish I could meet my cousin and play outside with him, but he lives in New York and it's far away from California. But it would be so much fun. Pedro, come to California so we can play, PLEASE!!!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
DOG DIARY 8:00am - Dog Food! My favorite thing! 9:30am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in or der to keep up my st rength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was wal king. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Friday, March 14, 2008
I was having alot of fun this morning, playing with Doedette. Remember, Doedette is Doe Doe's friend. Doe Doe got old and I can't play with him anymore. White stuff is coming out of him, he may have a weird disease. I don't want to get too close anyway. Then I was thirsty and I drank alot of water. Water is good for the dawg, right? Did you happen to see Snoop Dogg on "The View"? I don't really like him but he says he has a clothing line for us dawgs! So I checked it out and he sells them on Amazon. I did not like any of the 7 items that were listed. Sorry Poop Dogg, don't like your crap.....ruf ruf ruf. SNOOP DOGG PET
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Look at me! I am the coolest dawg playing in the back yard with Sam the Ham. We were chasing each other on the grass and it was really fun!! Sam the Ham couldn't keep up with me. That's because he is an old dawg. He is 11 years old and I am just three, so I can keep running and running when Sam poops out. Poor Sam. I hope we can go outside tomorrow and play again. McScruffy was out again last night. I would like to hurt him but I probably can't because he is much bigger than me. Maybe I can bite him on the ankles and run away. If only I could get inside his pen. I am one touch chi!! (remember I was lost in the woods in New Jersey for nine days)
Friday, March 7, 2008
Hey. I am looking for Pedro. He is a good looking chi and he lives in New York. He says he may be my long lost cousin, he looks just like me. If anyone out there knows Pedro the good looking chi in New York, tell him to contact the Ram man in California. I don't know any of my relatives, so it would be cool to meet Pedro. LOOK AT ME! I can stand like a human. You humans have nothing on me......ruf ruf ruf.
Monday, March 3, 2008
There's this dawg who is bothering me. He lives down the street. I call him McScruffy but I realy don't know his name. When we go for a walk at night, he barks his freaking head off like he wants to eat me. He has the most annoying bark. He sounds like he is gargling when he barks his deep bark. I can't stand him and I want to kill him he is so annoying.