My Health Report.

Yesterday was not a fun day for me. As you know, G-Mom had to take me to the doggie doc because I was upchucking some yucky yellow foamy stuff. Turns out, its called bile. Sounds disgusting.....bile. So, the doc asked me alot of questions; "Do you have diarrhea?" "No" I said, "but I've got a big turd that's on its way out, wanna see?". (fart, fart) "How's your appetite?" he said. "Good" I said, "I could eat a horse" (just joking doc) "Are you still active?" he wanted to know. "Well" I said, "I am still a virgin if that's what you mean! YES I am physically active" I yelled. I guess he didn't like my smart remarks cause the second I turned my head he stuck something up my behind! "OOOOWWWEEEEE Doc!" "Ooops, I farted" I said. "Looks good" he said, "but he's got alot of gas. So my hiney looks good and I have alot of gas. So what. Then, I was taken from the exam room and forced to undergo some weird things. First, they took a picture of my body and not my face. I thought that was a bit strange! Then, they covered my eyes. "Hey, I wanna see what you're gonna do to me!" I said. As I sat in the dark, I heard someone say "Can you do it?". Do what, I thought, and a pain shot right down the side of my neck. I twisted my head so I could see what was up and I saw a 2 foot syringe filled with my doggy blood . Okay, these humans are really weird. First they take a picture of my body, and now they want my blood. Maybe they are vampires. I started to hyperventilate and before I had a chance to run, the human tightened her grip on me and forced another 2 foot syringe with a 5 foot needle filled with some clear fluid into my backside. OHD, I thought I would pass out. I was sent back to the exam room to recover, and then as soon as I got home I let out a giant nervous turd.

The doggie doc called this morning to tell me that I have low thryoid level, but nothing to be concerned about. I also have an enlarged kidney, due to dehydration. (I really don't like water, it's boring). The doc said I have gastritis, so I have to take something called Cerenia for four days and eat chicken and rice and drink lots and lots of water. I love chicken, but I hope that medicine tastes good or I will spit it out! We still haven't heard about G-Mom's CAT scan. We're waiting on the human doc. She said she's sorry she hasn't help me play the tagging game yet. She promises to do it tomorrow.

Not So Good Wednesday.

Thanks to everyone who asked about G-Mom. She has not heard from the human doctor about her play date with the CAT scanner. She is doing okay. I'm still mad at her for playing with CAT's in the first place. I on the other hand, am not feeling up to my tuff dog standards. I've had some yellow foamy stuff come from my stomach and out my mouth for the last couple days. It was NASTY!!! G-Mom is taking me to the doggie doctor at 4pm today. I am so nervous, I can feel myself hyperventilating as I type. I am shaking wilder than I was yesterday during that big quake. I will post later on today with an update, so wish me luck!

5.4

Something was coming. I could feel it in my belly. I felt a rumbling deep within the earth. Mother Nature was about to have a temper tantrum, and she's was taking it out on Chino Hills! My ears went up. The house started to shake. I heard loud bangs, things popping. I was swaying. (hey, I didn't drink any silly water!) Mother Nature was going crazy. IT WAS SCARY! Drawers opened. Books fell sideways. Lamps toppled. Vases met the floor. And perfume bottles fell.

EARTHQUAKE! RUN!

this is what CalTech had to say: http://www.caltech.edu/

P.S. We were double tagged by Lorenza and Happy. We promise to play tag tomorrow when things settle down.

Blog-Free Mondee

Sorry, but G-Mom said she is tooooooo busy to help me blog today. She said she had to get a CAT scan, so I wonder if G-Mom is playing with cats behind our back. Bad girl, G-Mom. We'll see you tomorrow!! Asta luega, ciao, arrivederci, Rambo out.

Queen Midget

And he thinks he's the King of the Castle! NOT!!! LOOK AT THE "KINGS" FACE NOW!! he he he he he he he

GIRLS RULE

I Feel Famous!

I am so overwhelmed. I feel like a celebrity who's just won an oscar! Not only did I get two awards this week, but I failed to write my acceptance speech. So here goes, on the fly.

First, I would like to thank the academy of dog bloggers, who chose me for this award. I am shocked, sob, sob. Thanks to the director of my blog G-Mom, and the producer of my blog, G-Mom, and the writer of my blog, G-Mom, and most of all to my agent, you guessed it, G-Mom , for getting me this gig to begin with....sob, sob. (clutching heart) Thank you (looking up) to the dog God above, for giving me such blessings.

Thank you.

Thanks Cousin Pedro!!

Look what I got from my cousin Pedro! My very own award. It's called the "Arte y Pico" award. Cousin Pedro told me that it is given to bloggers who inspire others. Wow!! Thank you cousin. It's an honor to receive such a special award from you.

Here are the rules of the Arte-y-Pico Award: 1) You have to pick FIVE blogs that you consider deserve this award for creativity, design, interesting material and also contribute to the blogger community regardless of language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given him/her the award itself.

4) Award winners and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of the "Arte-y-Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of the award.

5) In compliance with said RULES, the award winner must show the RULES.

I would like to give this award back to my cousin Pedro, but he already has one, so I will paw this award on to Chef because his blog makes me laugh and Coco because her blog is so creative. Thanks again cuz!

Where's Rambo Finale!

Clue #1. This is the house where I was left in New Jersey. I was scared and ran out the back door. Clue #2. These are the woods across the street from the house that I ran away from. I hid from hawks and opposum and raccoons and wild turkeys. Clue #3. These are the woods across from a farm field. I ran through these to hide from strange people calling my name. Clue #4. This is the farm field that I ate from. The farmer grew spinach. I ate it to survive. Clue #5. This is the concrete plant next to the farm field. I hid under the truck so no one would find me. Clue #6. I roamed through the concrete plant looking for places to hide. Clue #7. Mr. Farmer, plowing his spinach field. I was watching him work. Clue #8. I slept under this conveyor belt so wild animals wouldn't eat me. Clue #9. I ran up and down this pile of concrete looking for my family. Clue #10. That's me! See the raccoon traps. My family put a Burger King triple whopper in there and I couldn't resist. This is how my family got me back because I was too freaked out to go to them on my own. So, that's why you won't see me in any of the Where's Rambo pictures because I was lost!

Thanks Chef. Where's Rambo??

CLUE #7 CLUE #8

CLUE #9

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, CLUE #10 WHERE'S RAMBO??

This is from Chef, my boxer dog friend. He was nice enough to send this to me. I didn't have to get groomed and walk around the competion ring or socialize with other chihuahuas. I didn't have to do anything special. Chef just sent me this ribbon cause he is my friend. Chef is an amazing boxer dog. Last week he won three ribbons. Yes, THREE ribbons. Take a look at his cool blog if you get a chance. Thanks Chef.

Our Cold Box

We were tagged by that cute, little dachshund in Mexico, Lorenza. Everyone knows Lorenza, right? Well, she asked us to show you what's in our cold box. So here goes. This is our cold box. It is in the garage, next to the humans freezer. There are only three magnets and a UCSD (Univ. of San Diego California) Tritons sticker on the front. This used to be our human brother's cold box when he was in college, then he gave it to us! One of our food bins sits on top and a flashlight so when we go outside at night G-Pop or G-Mom can check for rattlesnakes in the grass.

This is the door of our cold box. There are treat for MM and me and some Perrier. As you can see, the humans in this house have invaded our cold box. I guess their cold box doesn't have enough space.

This is the top shelf. More treats. On the right are MM's training treats. I don't need them anymore cause I'm a big boy.

On the bottom shelf is our favorite, Beggin Strips. G-Mom calls them cookies, but I know better. No cookies tastes like meat. You can see the humans invaded our territory again with beer! Well, I guess that's okay because I like beer, especially Corona. Yummy.

This is the front of the human cold box. It is covered with all kind of crap. There is a calendar, cause G-Mom says it keeps her organized. There is a picture of Jade, the human baby and some magnets from the Pets Hotel (I call it the slammer) and the vet's emergency phone number just in case.

The two dogs in the dog house frames are Bailey, on the left, and Max, on the right. They both went to the bridge along time ago. Bailey was only three years old. He accidentally ate some snail pellets and got poisoned. G-Pop rushed him to the ER, but he died on the way. G-Pop felt terrible because he left the lid off the snail pellet container. Max was two years old when he was euthanized. He went to the bridge because he had a defective heart. G-Mom said that Bailey and Sam were great dogs. She only wishes she had known them longer. This is the inside of the humans cold box. There is way too much stuff in there for only two people.

There are only two things in the human cold box that belong to MM and me. One bag of beef and rice for me, and one bag of chicken and rice for the Midget. She has chicken because yesterday she had the poops. She needs a bland diet, so no beef for her!

Well that's our cold boxes. Now we will tag Cousin Pedro, JB and Jackson & Patrick. The Rules are:- Show us a photo of the front of your Cold Box- Tell us about at least one thing on it and one thing you keep inside of it- Tag your friends and remember to stay Cool! And no fair cleaning it up first!

More Clues

CLUE #4

CLUE #5

CLUE # 6

HINT: LOOK AT THE BACK OF THE TRUCK

WHERE'S RAMBO??

P.S. Cousin Pedro, think again!

Let's Play Where's Rambo.

CLUE #1 CLUE #2

CLUE #3

WHERE'S RAMBO?

Buzz Buzz

G-Mom's a busy bee. She said she is too busy to help me blog. I asked her why she is so busy, and she said she is busy because she if trying to finish "the book". Oh! I said. G-Mom has been working on "the book" for two years. I don't know what is taking so long! She says "the book" is technically finished, but she is going through and doing the final editing. I don't have any clue what all this means. Anyway, G-Mom wants to put this on the cover. It's the poster my Mom made when I was lost. What do you think?

Check This Out!

Calling all dogs and cats, and humans too! It's time to WAKE UP! There are starving and/or homeless dogs and cats out there! But we can help them. Do you wanna know how? Please go to freekibble.com. It's an easy and fun way to earn free food for them, so please check out!!! Did I say it's FUN too? Scat..get going...what are you waiting for??

We got a big, red, puffy heart!!!

This is from our friends Jackson & Patrick. Thank you for thinking of us! Cousin Pedro got one too. So, we would like to pass this big, red, puffy heart to JB, our only kitty kat friend, who's sister Poo Poo got sent to jail. (maybe you should call her Poop Poop). And we would also like to pass this big, red, puffy heart to Mr. T-Bone Beaseley, who's sister went to the bridge. Here JB and Mr. T....enjoy!

****NEWS UPDATE******

"This is Midget Molly reporting once again from the scene of yesterdays vicious attack on Rambo the Chihuahua. ""The perpetrator has been captured. He is behind bars as we speak. This is yesterdays ailing victim identifying the perpetrator. Rambo, can you identify your attacker?" Rambo says "yes, this is the squirrel"

"Are you absolutely, positively sure?" Rambo says "I am positive". Midget Molly looks at the perpetrator and says "yes indeed it is, I concur".

The perp was hauled off by the human police to a place far, far away....never to be seen again. Hopefully he'll be picked up by the evil DEMENTORS!!

Rambo says "I'm glad this is over. In this case, justice was served".

P.S. Thank you to our friends Jackson & Patrick for the big, red, puffy heart!

Rambo the Chihuahua Attacked.

It's me, Midget Molly reporting from the crime scene, where Rambo the chihuahua was attacked. This is the location where the attack took place. In the victims own yard! The following is an interview I did with the victim. (who happens to be my brother) "Rambo, tell us just what happened here today". "Well you see, G-Mom went out for a while and when she came home she let me, and you of course, outside to do our duty. I noticed something moving in the squirrel trap. Since I am a curious litte chi, I ran as fast as I could over to the trap and discovered the biggest stinkiest squirrel I had ever seen in my life. It was ginormous! "Anyway, I just couldn't believe my eyes. So, I had to investigate further. At first we just gave each other the evil eye, and then I had to get a little closer." "He was sniffing at me and I was sniffing at him, He smelled pretty bad. Suddenly, without warning, he lunged forward and attacked me. He dug his overgrown teeth right into my lip. I smelled his stinky squirrel breath........ooooooweeeee. He needs some Greenies. He wounded my lip and caused me to bleed. (this is me licking my injury) "I would like to press charges please". "But Rambo, the big squirrel got away. He pushed his way right out of the trap. He must be a very strong squirrel. Take my advice, don't mess with him".

"He got away huh?" Now I am in a bad mood".

It's me, Midget Molly again, signing off from the scene of the crime. Don't tell Rambo, but the ginormous squirrel really wasn't that big, but we'll just let him think it was.

Ohhh, what's this? This is much more fun.