My Health Report.

Yesterday was not a fun day for me. As you know, G-Mom had to take me to the doggie doc because I was upchucking some yucky yellow foamy stuff. Turns out, its called bile. Sounds disgusting.....bile. So, the doc asked me alot of questions; "Do you have diarrhea?" "No" I said, "but I've got a big turd that's on its way out, wanna see?". (fart, fart) "How's your appetite?" he said. "Good" I said, "I could eat a horse" (just joking doc) "Are you still active?" he wanted to know. "Well" I said, "I am still a virgin if that's what you mean! YES I am physically active" I yelled. I guess he didn't like my smart remarks cause the second I turned my head he stuck something up my behind! "OOOOWWWEEEEE Doc!" "Ooops, I farted" I said. "Looks good" he said, "but he's got alot of gas. So my hiney looks good and I have alot of gas. So what. Then, I was taken from the exam room and forced to undergo some weird things. First, they took a picture of my body and not my face. I thought that was a bit strange! Then, they covered my eyes. "Hey, I wanna see what you're gonna do to me!" I said. As I sat in the dark, I heard someone say "Can you do it?". Do what, I thought, and a pain shot right down the side of my neck. I twisted my head so I could see what was up and I saw a 2 foot syringe filled with my doggy blood . Okay, these humans are really weird. First they take a picture of my body, and now they want my blood. Maybe they are vampires. I started to hyperventilate and before I had a chance to run, the human tightened her grip on me and forced another 2 foot syringe with a 5 foot needle filled with some clear fluid into my backside. OHD, I thought I would pass out. I was sent back to the exam room to recover, and then as soon as I got home I let out a giant nervous turd.

The doggie doc called this morning to tell me that I have low thryoid level, but nothing to be concerned about. I also have an enlarged kidney, due to dehydration. (I really don't like water, it's boring). The doc said I have gastritis, so I have to take something called Cerenia for four days and eat chicken and rice and drink lots and lots of water. I love chicken, but I hope that medicine tastes good or I will spit it out! We still haven't heard about G-Mom's CAT scan. We're waiting on the human doc. She said she's sorry she hasn't help me play the tagging game yet. She promises to do it tomorrow.