When The Dog's Away...The Human's Play

Hey Everyone! Me and Midget are HOME!! Yep! We found our way home after we scaped from the slammer. We are now on the "MOST WANTED" list, so please don't tell anyone where we are, okay?

Let me tell you a little story. The day after G-Mom and G-Pop's left for their trip to New Jersey, Midget and I were arrested. The animal police accused Midget of lizardslaughter and me of birdslaughter and threw us in the Pets Prison. We told them we were innocent, but they said they had hard evidence against us. They didn't even allow us to make one phone call!! So we were stuck in the slammer and we barked all night long to drive the humans crazy.

G-Mom and G-Pop were having a good time in New Jersey. They went to a family reunion. They also went to Elmer Road in Vineland, the place where I was once lost. May 27th was the third anniversary of when I went missing.

Here's my "Lost Chihuahua" poster. The concrete plant where I hung out.The house I ran away from.And the farm field I wandered in.Here are the traps they used to try and catch me.Me sniffing the trap I was caught in. MMMMMMM...it still smells like Burger King triple whopper. This brings back memories. While the grand-humans were drinking homemade wine and eating cheese steaks and Tasty Kakes, Midget and I scaped from that nasty prison and were on the run. They still didn't know what had happened to Midget and me. From New Jersey, G-Pop went home and G-Mom went to Lost Wages. Midget and I were on the run fighting for our lives.I'm ashamed to say...while we were dying of hunger and thirst, G-Mom lounged by the pool...and hung out with cousin Pedro's Mom and JB's Mom. I can't believe my eyes. Mom and Leah too??? This makes me so mad.Look at them all smiley while me and Midget are in such termoil. MOM??? Alysha too???? Oh Mom.....how could you?? Hey, is that silly water?? Mom....you have some splaining to do.Clueless to what these two are up to...but they are having too much fun. I am soooooooooooooo MAD!!!! (and I am going to tell my cousin Pedro on you)Midget and I ran all the way home to Chino Hills. It took us four days to get there and we were dehydrated and starving, but we made it home just in time for my 4th birthday!! I got a cheese burger. Yummy. Have you ever tasted prison food? It's yuck in a bowl. Eyeing it up.The sweet smell of meat.I ate it so fast I almost choked. I got a yummy cake.We lit the candles to sing Happy Barkday to me!Not too close G-Mom. Our eyelashes will burn.We all blew out the candles. I cut my cake.Hmm. Somethings wrong. I didn't feel like eating my cake.Midget took a teeny weeny lick.......that's strange.

Ut Oh! The next day I woke up and I was sick. I must have caught something at the Pets Prison.

Now I have to take an antibiotic.

Do I have too???

Not so bad. Now Midget's sick too.

To finish my story, Midget did kill Lenny Lizard, but she claims she went temporarily insane cause Lenny was driving her crazy. As for me, I did kill Spunky Sparrow but it wasn't intentional. Spunky fell out of the plant and landed on the ground right next to me. He started hopping around like a chicken with out and head and I went over to help him and he tried to bite me. I killed Spunky in self defense. G-Mom told us that we have to do animality service for ten days to make it up to the lizard and bird communites. We're sorry Lenny and Spunky. Rest in peace. Now all I do is lay around and hug my little heart bear and think of my girl Tahlia. I haven't spoken to her in two weeks. I miss her. Oh Midget. Did you have to steal my most precious bear??? Can a dog catch a break around here!?????